Your friend is better than your idea of your friend

By herbert, 18.12.2018

Faces are like keys. If you know a face, you know the person who owns that face. Seeing or just thinking of that person unlocks many of the things you know about that person: some of the good, some of the not so good… but always related to what you are going through or where you are at, at that moment.

Smiley faceWhat you know of people can be very useful, even if they are not there: their “virtual self” can inspire me, agree with me or correct me. If they’re not there, it’s up to me to imagine what I believe they would say.

While I prefer having someone’s actions in a certain situation as example (instead of the entire person), there is an obvious problem if I am having a discussion in my head with my virtual friend, that is: Not with my friend him or herself, but with the idea of my friend.

The problem is of course: I am biased when it comes to my own reasoning.
So my friend is better than my idea of my friend.

In most cases all I’d need to do is to call, mail or text. Spend time together. And since spending time together is what builds the relationship we have, this is flat out a positive thing (my email address is somewhere on this page).

Truly deep conversations between friends build on honesty, which will bring friction from time to time. Don’t be afraid of this, because friction is where you learn most. Ask any spouse.

In the same way is God much better than my idea of God.
In most cases, all I need to do is talk to Him. Spend time together. It builds the relationship we two have.
But let me try to be more direct: God is much better than your idea of God. Ask Him to spend time together: it will build your relationship.
If you’re afraid of friction, read the beginning of what the prophet Habakkuk wrote in the beginning of his first chapter. That’s a dead-honest beginning.

What do you think?

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